For months now, you’ve been agonizing over Neo Aquarium. I understand! The choice before you is insanely difficult, a King Solomon level decision. On the one hand, you’ve been dying to finally get immersed into the world of online competitive seafood fighting, and you’ve even been practicing at home against the lobsters you liberated from the supermarket. You win three out of every five fights, and the cuts on your shins (and the inexplicable cigarette burns on your neck) are proud trophies of your evolving crustacean battle skills. You know in your heart you are the chosen one, the One, like Ashley Judd in Where the Heart Is.
But on the other hand, you’re afraid. What if all your practice has been for naught? Is there an aquatic grandmaster out there somewhere, biding his time until you finally confront him in a digital arena of brine and fear? Could you live with yourself knowing that money, real human money that could buy food or colorful Arbor day hats, was spent purely on humiliation? Your parents didn’t want this life for you! *I* didn’t want this life for you! My God, you’re [insert nationality here], such sniveling pity is beneath you!
Well, pick yourself up and dust off your wallet, champ, because the folk of Humble Bundle have created the most graceful smokescreen in the world! The Humble Japan Bundle is back, and, surprise surprise, a game about fighting lobsters and murderous crabs is smack dab in the middle! Let’s be straight: there is some real quality work in here. 99 Spirits, The Sacred Tears TRUE, Vanguard Princess…hell, the first Hyperdimension Neptunia is in there! I couldn’t imagine an RPG to BE so kawaii! But let’s not kid ourselves: we’re here for the Aquarium. This is your chance. Buy it from Humble, play the DRM free version offline to assuage your own confidence, then register that Steam key and prepare for true glory! Trading cards, achievements, accolades from schoolyard chums who acknowledged that you “turned out pretty cool,” it’s all there!
So hit the link, beat the average, and Neo Aquarium (and the power) is YOURS!