Did Playism Open A Bakery? (Spoilers: No)

When there’s nothing to believe in, believe in bread.

I Am Bread is a game that was born and bred (heh) for the current world of gaming. The ridiculous concept and execution are certainly novel enough on their own, but the act of seeing a friend, colleague or online streamer attempt to navigate this world is where the game truly shines. From Bossa Studios, I Am Bread is a quest of one sentient piece of bread to cross whatever environment he’s in and achieve the ultimate goal: becoming toast. The bread can move. The bread can climb walls. And the bread is at the mercy of wanting to still be edible by the time it gets toasted. In a way, aren’t we all?
Through sheer force of will and absolute delight, I Am Bread has evolved in so many ways over it’s short life. There’s your traditional story mode, where your jaunts to burn yourself are inter-spliced with further and more concerning doctor scripts from the homeowner’s psychiatrist. There are racing levels, destruction levels, open-world levels and even a zero-G mode, where you play space Bread. “But wait!” I hear you saying. “How can the Bread move in zero gravity?” Why, with a harness of tiny rockets, of course! Don’t you feel silly for asking? No? You really shouldn’t, it’s an insane conclusion to draw, and that’s what makes it SO RIGHT.
And other devs have taken notice of this absurd phenomenon as well! Previously, there have been two modes developed to take the game even further. Starch Wars transforms your bread into a fighter star ship, navigating a minefield of asteroids and shooting down enemy combatants. You know, like toast is wont to do. The addition of the Team Fortress 2 level takes your Bread into the underground bunker where Heavy is fast asleep, and you must become a sandwich before he awakens. I keep checking to see if I’ve fallen asleep and am having a lucid dream where everything I’m typing is just fiction, but these are all actual things in the game.
Now, on the cusp of their greatest update to date, Playism is supremely excited to bring I Am Bread to the shores of Japan and to our own storefront! Teaming up with Goat Simulator, I Am Bread now has GoatBread, where you have replaced your slice of Bread with a goat. Movements are the same, results may vary. It’s incredibly difficult to control, but the carnage that springs from a floppy goat is very satisfying. Additionally, the Bread is now loose in the goat’s world! I don’t know where you’ll find the heat necessary to become your final, crumbly form, but where there’s a loaf, there’s a whey.
Playism is matching the Steam discount, bringing I Am Bread down a staggering 66% to only $4.42 for launch week. Not convinced that getting your delicious Steam key from us is the right choice? What about some exclusive GOAT BREAD WALLPAPERS? Act now (or any point in the future, really) and we’ll throw in some HD downloads of two gorgeous I Am Bread wallpapers, as well as one celebrating the unholy union of Goat and Bread. They’re adorable! They’re spectacular! They’re definitely some high quality pictures of bread and a goat!
If you haven’t had a chance to play, now is definitely the time to jump into the role you’ve been preparing for your whole life. We are ready. I. Am. Bread.

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